The Pressure & Expectation of Greatness

Watching the news spread and having a few different conversations with people about Simone Biles bailing out of the finals of the gymnastics team competition at the Olympics got me thinking a lot about pressure and expectation. There is tremendous pressure that athletes face and, to different degrees, we each face in our own lives fueled by expectations, opinions, and those who think they know better.

To begin I’ll say this, there is no way that any one of us can know or understand the pressures that Simone Biles feels and experiences as an athlete and as a young Black woman with the spotlight on her every move. It’s just not possible. And same goes for anyone in life. We each have our own unique experience and can relate to one another but we will never have the exact same feelings, experiences, and moments.

So my musings on pressure and expectation…

We always want the effort to pay off, to get the achievement, to prove something in the face of adversity, yet I cannot help but wonder about the opposite end of the pendulum swing.

We love the hero and the icon, and maybe desire to be the hero ourselves, but to what expense? Do the ends justify the means - and what if the ends aren't what was expected?

To what detriment is the expectation of invincibility, the go big or go home attitude, the push through at all costs mentality creating pressure that ultimately weighs us down and we have to bow out at the [perceived] biggest moment?

I am all for pushing one's self to the limits, for challenging mental and physical capacities, yet it must come with serious self awareness, compassion, and trust.

As an elite athlete and in my early years working at Google I know that I certainly did not have it, or at least not to the extent that I am now aware of and believe is needed.

Each of us as individuals are the only ones who can truly weigh and decide what is correct for us. Even if that decision is a heartbreaking one. Looking externally and relying on the messaging, input, and/or desire from others may seem like it's working but eventually it will break down, or you will break down.

Did I want Simone Biles to compete? Yes, of course. And, I have to accept her decision, her knowing, her trust. By judging her, assuming I know better, I simply continue to pile on the pressures of athletic greatness. I can only imagine how deep her knowing had to have been to choose to bow out, to seemingly let an entire country down, and to not give in to the pressure to put on a smile and muscle through as expected.

Young athletes get burned out on their sport because they're not actually doing it for themselves and their desires; it's someone else's and they can't stop the train moving. This is why I love to listen to the stories from older athletes or those who have walked away and come back. Almost always it's because they found their own love for the sport and their own desire to strive for new greatness, whatever that means for them.

This is also true in our jobs and everyday lives. Burnout happens when we have lost the passion yet continue to push, cannot fathom slowing down, and the external expectations and pressures to be and do all the things begin to weigh us down and cracks form. The world around us tends to perpetuate the falsehood and biggest shadow of not enough-ness - that our worthiness is tied to all sorts of external things and labels.

This is why I'm so passionate about finding pause, creating boundaries and limits, rest and rejuvenation, and not buying into the hustle culture or competition of busyness. It's not about doing nothing, it's the intentionality and awareness behind all that we do. It's you being the designer of your life, not someone else.

And so it comes back to self awareness, compassion, and trust. When these are strengthened, practiced, and focused on, it's like an athlete returning to the sport they fell in love with as a kid, it's for the love of the game.

In the case of each of us it’s the game of life and falling in love with yourself.