The Pathway of Pause
The Pathway of Pause
7 Steps to Bust Busy, Reduce Anxiety, and Welcome Ease
All the things.
The phrase ‘all the things’ is everywhere. I use it, I’ll admit. Yet it’s also a reminder that we are always trying to do, be, and have all the things whether or not they’re what we truly desire. So if ‘all the things’ have you feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and anxious the Pathway of Pause is here for you.
This is a method and path that I’ve been walking and experimenting on for quite some time. My worldview has completely shifted and where I was once the epitome of burnout I now find everyday magic, brilliance, and fulfillment. And most of all, recognition that it starts and comes from within and a willingness to pause. If you want a little insight into my old mindset check out the article, Savasana Sucks.
The pathway reveals some of my secrets and simple tips to bust busy, reduce anxiety, and welcome a lot more ease and spaciousness into your life. We cannot add hours into the day but we can shift the way we experience time and our days.
Vacations and escapes planned down the road are wonderful (we all need them - I love a good beach vacation and change of scenery), yet there is no reason to hedge your rest, recovery, and breathing room from everyday life on some future moment. And, spoiler alert, it’s just a band-aid. You’ll likely find yourself in the exact same spot treading water and sliding back towards burnout shortly after you return.
The steps along the Pathway are a way back to shore so you are no longer trying to simply keep your head above water. You’ll see how to get clear on yourself, find your pause, set your boundaries, create powerful goals, and live full out. It’s a process, it doesn’t happen overnight, and there’s no quick fix. However, these small actions will bring shifts, more awareness, and the potential for some immediate relief.
Make today Day One, rather than continuing to say One Day. Take this pathway at your pace and put it into practice however feels right. Simply begin.
[1] Busting Busy
We live in a culture that perpetuates and glorifies busyness. It’s downright heavy, exhausting, and unhealthy. We are constantly trying to keep up and get ahead because that’s how we’ve been taught to value ourselves and define our worth. That ends here. Your worth is not related to how ‘busy’ you are. Full stop.
To bust busy you must get clear on what you are doing, why you’re doing it, and how your energy levels are impacted by different activities. It’s about finding ways to slow down, to remove or shift draining activities so that you’re not feeling weighed down by ‘all the things’.
Take inventory and question everything.
What keeps me ‘busy’?
What am I doing and why am I doing it?
What energizes me and what drains me?
What would happen if I stopped, reduced, or adjusted activities in my day?
[2] Your Essentialism
Essentialism is all about boundaries and values. It’s getting crystal clear on what you are available for and what you are not. It sounds harsh yet it’s one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself to regain your sovereignty and reduce all the unnecessary static around you.
All too often we bend our boundaries and end up exhausted. By looking at and defining your core values, what you deem essential for you, you make all decisions down the road so much easier. There’s no more hemming and hawing. It’s a simple question: does this align with one of my values? Yes or no.
The key here that must be said is that these are your core values, your boundaries. Not anyone else’s. Not your partner’s, your family’s, your friend’s, or society’s expectations. It is all about you. Feeling selfish? Perfect.
Define your values.
Identify your own individual 3-5 core values
What are you available for?
What are you no longer available for?
[3] Heartstorm You
Heartstorming is an activity of brainstorming through your personal lens. It’s taking the ‘yes, and’ approach that is so common in corporate settings to contemplate what you truly desire. To heartstorm is to let your heart and intuition speak and not be judged or shot down by your mind. This is a practice in listening to you and what you desire.
I recommend that everything my clients do start from the place of Heartstorming. It is a soft and open way to let ideas flow. It is the judgement free zone creating space for the dreams, desires, and truest you to emerge. Nothing is permanent so be playful and see what comes. Let your own voice speak and be open to listen.
Heartstorm and Design You.
If I could wake up tomorrow and do anything, I would…
I feel most alive when I am...
What does a life of ease, calm, peace [insert whatever you’re seeking] look like and feel like?
[4] Find Your Pause
At the center of the pathway is the pause. It is the moment of slowness that truly starts to shift everything around you. It acts as a transformative moment of reset, awareness, and movement into choice.
In a world constantly telling us to keep moving we must counter that pull and choose to linger in our own pause. When you embrace the pause you regain your power and awareness in the moment which in turn sets you up for everything to come.
The pause is what you make it. It doesn't require you to carve out more time in your day (though you may find more time after Step 1) to sit in meditation, journal, workout, etc. It can be simply savoring the steam off your morning cup of coffee, closing your eyes and feeling the shower water beat down on you, getting outside for a walk, taking a deep breath before responding to an email or screaming child.
Moments of Pause.
Create a list of 10 or more ways that you can linger and pause in your day.
Where do I already have moments of pause that I can bring more awareness to?
[5] Create Spaciousness
Life is messy, cluttered and too often heavy and lacking flow. Whether it’s physical stuff in your home or other living spaces, mental to-do lists and tabs of items to follow up on, or emotional baggage that you’re carrying around for yourself or others, we all have ‘stuff’.
We often don’t realize how holding on to clutter actually impacts us and continues our cycle of busyness and burnout until we finally let it go. Old energy draining ‘stuff’ also crowds out and blocks new ideas, people, and fresh energy from coming in. This step invites you to begin clearing and get curious about where you can create more space.
Consider all aspects: screen time, your closets, the maybe one day to-do list in your head, emotions from an old relationship, etc. What activities from Step 1 that create ‘busy’ can you outsource or have someone else do that free up your time, energy, and space? There is always room for more spaciousness even if you feel like you’re already a minimalist.
Feel the space.
What areas of my life feel cluttered, heavy, or burdensome?
What am I carrying around or holding onto that’s no longer serving me?
What’s one way I can create more space for me in my day?
[6] Designer Goals
Crystal clear goals, broken down into specific and actionable steps, allow you to gain momentum in achieving a life designed by you for you. It’s not just about daydreaming and wishing things to change, you must take action with the foundation of the five previous steps beneath you.
All too often our big end goal overwhelms us and we think we must get there right away. Hello pressure! Yet the truth is that it’s the culmination of many smaller steps along the way. Overwhelm is just a signpost that you may be ahead of yourself.
Always ask, what is my first next step? This will help reveal the microsteps that ultimately create the full pathway.
Set your goals.
Identify and commit to your precise goal that is actionable and tangible
Identify the first step (think micro step!) you need to take and set a timeline to complete
Complete and repeat above step over and over
[7] Play, Practice, and Participate
Your foundation is set. It’s time to play, simply live, and stand in your own powerful goddess, queen, and sovereign energy. This is not the end, per-se, because we are constantly called to re-evaluate and assess where we stand in each of these steps.
If, and when, you find the stressors creeping in, anxiety building, or just feeling lost, come back to this and return to you. Spend a moment in pause to regroup. Let your heart speak its truth through heartstorming. Assess your values and how aligned you are when tested. Review your schedule.
Life is simply a game that we all get to play. Practice these steps, build the muscles, and step fully into your own ease, brilliance, and power.
Celebrate along the way. And don’t forget to always find your pause.
xoxo