Practice of Being rather than Doing
Recently I’ve been thinking about the ideas of ‘Doing’ and ‘Being’. Yesterday in the shower I had quite a few thoughts - enough so that I felt like I couldn’t finish up quickly enough (and really enjoy the long hot shower I normally do) for fear that the ideas would wash down the drain if I didn’t get pen to paper. There was even a moment of wondering if in shower whiteboards exist?!?
A big part of The Linger Movement is about being. Being present in whatever the given moment is and looking for what about that moment you can linger in and appreciate. As I’ve thought about the idea of lingering and why it hits so deeply for me it is because it’s something I’ve evolved into. Something I’ve worked at. The ability to slow down and just ‘be’ is a skill and one I’ve been honing over the last few years. When the world around us is moving so fast, always seems to be on the go, striving to get to the next thing, it’s really difficult to go against the grain and actually slow down.
Reflecting back on things I realize how much of a ‘do-er’ I have been over the years. I always had to be doing something, striving for a goal, always making myself look good. When I didn’t have a satisfying enough goal at work I created personal goals - for many years that meant signing up for marathons. A race was something to channel my energy, my desire for doing and achieving, into specific direction. And I’m in no way saying now I don’t do things, because I most certainly do, but the mindset and intention behind it is so very different.
I think of myself as a recovering speed through life-er and a ‘do-aholic’ and I can’t imagine that I’m the only card carrying member out there. Today, I aim to consider what I want to ‘be’ before I think about what I want to ‘do’. That then allows the ‘being’ to inform the ‘doing’. Stepping more into ‘being’ makes the ‘doing’ seem so much easier. It’s also more enjoyable and fulfilling which is always a goal of mine. We are human ‘beings’ after all, not human ‘doings’.
When I first started thinking about the word linger I looked up the definition by a Google search. The provided definition is: verb; to stay in one place longer than necessary because of a reluctance to leave. I love that it talks about a reluctance to leave, that to me is so visual and every time I read it I see the dragging of feet and feel it in my heart and chest. There is a true reluctance to move on.
[As an interesting side note if you expand the Google one box provided definition there’s a graph showing the usage of the word linger in text over time. It’s fascinating. The peak usage was from about 1860-1890 and then it tanked until 1980 where there’s been a bit of an upswing since. The word is trending upwards and I hope to make it as popular as ever!]
This idea of a reluctance to leave speaks directly to ‘being’ vs ‘doing’. I find when I’ve been just ‘doing’ it’s a feeling of go, go, go. There’s no desire or ability to stick around in one place. It’s more the feeling of the need to leave - that there’s always more to check off the list, more to have finished, more to see. Yet, when I’m ‘being’ there’s no rush, there’s the present moment and what I’m active in at that given time. To ‘be’ is to savor what’s right in front of you and take in the simple pleasures. This is in turn all about lingering and taking that pause to slow it down, think about what’s happening in the moment, and maybe even assess why there’s such a strong desire to fly by these small precious moments.
All this ‘being’ sounds simple, and is on the surface, yet it takes practice and patience. I can tell when I’m getting into ‘do-er’ mode and hopefully bring myself back into being quickly. It’s work and takes time. I know I’m certainly in a different perspective and state of being today than a few years ago. I’m continuously striving for more being rather than doing. Lingering awhile certainly helps!
Join The Linger Movement, follow along, share your linger moments on Instagram with @lingermovement or use the hashtag #lingerawhile
xoxo