Done Rather than Perfect
Multiple people have asked me in the last few weeks whether or not I write and when I’m writing a book. While writing a book right now feels a little pretentious and out of reach, not to mention many thoughts of who the heck would pay to read what I might write, the thought of just starting to share again with words and just not photos on Instagram seems appropriate. There have been enough nudges, and some more like shoves and slaps in the face (in the best possible way from loving friends and mentors), to know that it’s a step to take right now. So here we are, back at it.
I think it was pretty much a year ago that I sat down with a very similar intention of starting to write. In that space then I kinda felt like I had to. Now, I feel a bit of that but after loads of self work it’s a knowing that I have something to share and I’ve just got to step into it. What direction I’ll really take this I don’t know. However, I was talking to a friend yesterday who has had a long standing blog and she said it’s about sharing whatever is on your mind and don’t get caught up in having to have it be perfect or always have some lesson shared. And this is where I’ve been getting stuck in my head for the last few weeks. It’s knowing I want to share but the fear and then the distraction to doing it comes in the form of perfection.
So today we turn over a new leaf as I’m forced to sit inside due to horrific air quality in San Francisco. I’m going to attempt to put into practice what I have been saying for months and trying to ingrain in my brain - ‘done is better than perfect’. And as my coach and dear mentor Stacy loves to remind me - Just Fricken Do It, JFDI for crying out loud.
Being perfect is so dang hard. It is stressful just thinking about it in any facet of life yet it feels so impossible to escape. What we individually perceive as ‘perfect’ and what we strive for as well as what is out there in our faces all the time through social media is totally ridiculous. Months ago when I was reading Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly I got to her part about perfectionism and it was like a mirror being held up right in front of my face. It’s stuck with me since and I often think about it.
In the book she says ‘Perfectionism is not the path that leads us to our gifts and to our sense of purpose; it’s a hazardous detour.’ Then goes she on for more multiple pages dispelling the myths of what perfection is and isn’t. I’ll spare you the copy and paste here but below are some of my favorite sections. And by favorite I really mean slap in the face self reflective lines of text...
Perfectionism is a defensive move.
Perfectionism is, at its core, trying to earn approval.
Perfectionism is more about perception than internal motivation, and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much energy we spend trying.
Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgement, and blame.
This hazardous detour of perfection is everywhere and I find myself in constant struggle against it. The feeling that I need to have the perfect picture and the perfect words to go with them on Instagram or looking just so for an upcoming video conference meeting is only the start of the daily moments where my natural tendencies for perfection creep in. However, when I can let go of it things are suddenly so much easier - I’m not kidding. Perfection is a weight that we carry around. I’m not saying it can easily be all dropped at once, but in small doses it’s possible and eventually it can all be shed. Or so I hope!
I didn’t actually intend or know that this was going to end up about perfectionism but it’s turned out that way. And rather than stop now and second guess whether or not that’s the appropriate topic for today and is Friday even the day I want to post something I’m sticking with it. I’ve found it paralyzing to know where the perfect place to start is. So today we start here. I take one step forward to finally get back into sharing real words with the world without judgement or the need for absolute perfection.
So on this smokey and eerie Friday in San Francisco I give you a view into my mind and know that done is better than perfect.
xoxo
jessie