Creating the Space Between
I’ve recently seen, read, and heard multiple stories, conversations, and social media posts about the power of space. They were seemingly unrelated yet they actually all touched on the same core truth.
When you pause and give yourself the opportunity to create a little bit of space it’s incredibly powerful.
That bit of space (small or large as it may be) allows you to be in choice and creates freedom. In a moment of being triggered you are responding rather than reacting. You are consciously choosing what comes next rather than acting from a trigger or simply out of habit. This is the space between and it’s a disruptor to business as usual. It is freedom to choose and own our actions.
There are so many places where I see this popping up in my life and I have no doubt it’s in yours too. The pause and welcoming in the space between takes practice. We’re so quick to react to things - and much of it is because of deeply ingrained training and habits we’ve developed both consciously and unconsciously. We must re-train ourselves to slow down and invite the pause and savor the space between. It’s time to change our patterns to move into choice and response rather than solely being reactive.
It is with the space we create that also invites creativity, insights, and what I like to call the moments of magic to appear. They’re always knocking on the door yet until there’s space it’s impossible to hear or to even allow them in.
So how do you create space to allow the magic in?
Space comes in many forms - both the physical sense of space and time as well as figurative intangible space.
First up, the physical.
Create more physical space in your life by getting rid of clutter and varying forms of ‘stuff’ that no longer serve you. From experience I can tell you how freeing, and grounding at the same time, it feels when I clean my desk and work space of junk that has accumulated. Not only was the clutter taking up space all around me it was also a distraction. I tolerate clutter for a period of time and then there’s a tipping point where suddenly it’s too much and I find myself unable to do anything else until I've tidied (and purged).
While all the stuff we each accumulate is the physical manifestation of space, or lack of it, it also has an impact beyond the physical. When you clear, organize, purge clutter and what no longer serves you it creates a revitalized sense of expansiveness and excitement.
When it comes to your physical space here are some questions to consider:
Do you have a clear and organized workspace or dining room table or kitchen counters?
Is there a closet or some other area that you’ve been avoiding?
What are you holding on to and why?
How might this clutter or stuff be blocking your space?
What would it feel like to be free of all that clutters your space?
Ponder these questions and set aside a little time to tackle an area that could use some clearing. See what happens.
Next is Mental Space.
The need for this is sometimes harder to pinpoint because our minds love to tell us that we can keep adding to the inventory and tabs it’s holding open for us. However, I can usually tell when I need to create space in my head and release some of the clutter because I start forgetting things and simple tasks suddenly feel difficult and/or irritating. It’s like my mind wants to go into shutdown mode because it has had 437 browser tabs open, waiting to be used, for way too long. Hello red flag warning!
To clear the mental clutter do a brain dump of everything that you’re trying to store in your head. Take a pause to write it all down - everything(!) regardless of how big or small it may seem. The goal is to simply free up the storage of your mind. Once everything is out you can review and decide, like with physical stuff, what you are keeping and what can go. Let your paper (virtual or not) keep the tabs, not your brain. This is also incredibly helpful to do before bed so that you’re not ruminating rather than drifting off to sleep.
Do you have a bunch of small tasks that will take just a few minutes each to do yet you’ve been waiting to find the time? Take action, do these tasks so you’re not having to keep track of them! You may even realize that it’s no longer relevant. Even better.
If you feel like you have something that’s weighing on you don’t just let it stew in your mind taking up space. Find a comfortable way to share it whether that’s through personal journaling or verbalizing and sharing with a friend. Like the brain dump, the goal is to allow what’s on your mind to have the space to come out. You are creating space for the worry, idea, thought, whatever it may be and in turn freeing up the space it was consuming in your mind.
By freeing the mental clutter and giving your mind space you’re giving yourself a break from its usual overdrive. This pause and slowing may feel counter intuitive. Lean into it because it’s through opening up this space that you are then able to welcome in so much more.
When your mind isn’t trying to hold on to the 437 open tabs of to-dos, ideas, worries, etc the insights, ah-has, and clarity start to pour in. You may feel a lightness. Maybe the world around you sharpens. Or maybe it’s an unexpected relief. Whatever it is take note of how you feel and linger awhile in it. You’ve just given yourself a little gift, enjoy it.
Finally, if you’re working from home or suddenly managing so much more in a given day it’s even more critical now that you find ways to create space and mini-breaks. If you no longer have the natural pauses that come with physically changing meeting rooms, or walking back to your desk, or picking the kids up from school find ways to add them back in.
For example, allow yourself at least 2 minutes - longer if you can manage it! - between calls so that you can close one tab (literally and figuratively), breathe, get up from your desk, and then proceed to the next. Create the space between and use it to your advantage.
The lack of mental space, even more so that physical space unless you’re a serious hoarder, has a way of sneaking up on you with potentially serious implications. While it may not seem like a big deal to take on yet another task or not take the pause between everything going on in the day it will catch up with you. Begin building and creating your mental space now so it’s a normal part of your being rather than waiting until your mind, and potentially body, go into shut down mode.
I know my mental capacity is reaching its maximum when...
Have I given my mind a break by jotting down everything that it’s holding for me?
What am I holding on to in my mind?
How can I create more moments of the Space Between and mental breaks during my day?
Creating and fostering the Space Between is crucial.
It is your lifeline.
It is how to flourish.
Create space between a trigger and your reaction so that you can choose your response and be in your power.
Create space in your physical world to remove clutter and distractions to welcome feelings of expansiveness and freedom.
Create space in your mental realm to invite in creativity, curiosity, and insight.